95. How to Trust Yourself When Everyone Gives Different Business Advice

Ever feel paralyzed when you get conflicting advice from different business experts? You're not alone.

If you've ever found yourself asking multiple coaches the same question, getting different answers, and feeling more confused than when you started, this episode will change everything for you.

The truth is, every time you seek external validation for your business decisions without checking in with yourself first, you're rewiring your brain to believe that everyone else knows better than you. This creates a dependency that keeps you stuck in decision paralysis instead of building the self-trust muscle you need to create a business that actually aligns with who you are.

In this episode, I'm sharing why copy-paste strategies rarely work for most people, how your brain's need for certainty keeps you seeking external validation, and the exact framework I use with my clients to help them make decisions from a place of alignment rather than anxiety.

You'll also hear a real-time example from my Foundations to Flow group where a client had to choose between two conflicting strategies - and why her decision surprised me (but made me so proud).

Key Points Covered:

✨ Why asking multiple experts the same question leaves you more confused

✨ The neurological reason your brain craves external validation over self-trust

✨ How copy-paste strategies ignore your unique strengths and values

✨ The difference between receiving advice from inner knowing vs. inner panic

✨ Questions to ask yourself when evaluating conflicting business advice

✨ Why "everything works" but not everything will work for YOU

If you're tired of endlessly scrolling for the "right" strategy or feeling dependent on others for your business decisions, this episode will help you start rebuilding trust in your own intuition and business instincts.

💫 Ready to stop outsourcing your decisions and start trusting yourself? DM me "EXPANSION" to learn how we rebuild your decision-making muscle inside my 1:1 program.

Thank you for being a part of the Soulpreneur Scaling Stories community!

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Transcript

[00:00:00] Andrea Elibero: Andrea here, your host and passionate business coach and scaling strategist for soulful service providers and coaches. Welcome to another episode of Solepreneur Scaling Stories. Have you ever wanted to look behind the curtain of your fellow entrepreneur's business to see what actually went into scaling it?

[00:00:22] Well, you are in for a treat 'cause that's exactly what we are doing here. In each episode, we will be uncovering the truth of the lessons and the stories behind what it truly takes for sold entrepreneurs to scale their businesses intentionally. I'm hoping that their stories will help you to unlock the true potential of your business so you can create your own soulful, abundant, and aligned laptop lifestyle through intentional scaling.

[00:00:46] So whether you're just starting out on your scaling journey or you're a seasoned entrepreneur seeking inspiration, this episode has something incredible in store for you. Are you ready to rise, grow, and create a business that fully supports your dream life? Well, let's dive in. [00:01:00] Before we begin, make sure to hit that subscribe buttons.

[00:01:03] You never miss an empowering episode filled with real stories and soulful insights.

[00:01:10] If you have ever found yourself asking three different coaches the same question, getting three different answers, and then feeling a bit more confused than when you started. Congratulations. This episode is for you.

[00:01:25] Here is what is going on. We're going to dive deep into this and get you feeling so much more comfortable with this.

[00:01:33] Every time you ask somebody else what to do, instead of checking in with yourself first or at all, you are literally rewiring your brain to believe that everybody else knows better than you. And I'm going to get more into this, don't worry. So this was, I, so I saw this in a, the right post recently, and I was like, oh, I have to talk about this.

[00:01:54] So somebody had said this exact thing, right? They said, what do you do when you [00:02:00] ask for advice and three different people, they'll tell you different things. How do you know what the right answer is? And I can highly, highly relate to this 'cause I used to be this person.

[00:02:12] Now here is the thing, right? I have seven years of PhD level training in clinical psychology. And so one of the things that I learned is that when you constantly seek external validation for decisions, you're reinforcing neural pathways that say, I don't know, somebody else knows better. And what happens when you do that is that the trust that you have in yourself never gets developed.

[00:02:36] Your intuition really gets. It was, I hampered, I don't know if that's the word, but it's really like it's just not there. So it's not just that I learned this, but I lived it as well because me, when I was a baby entrepreneur in 2019, I had thoughts, okay, like, come here. I'm doing my VA business. How do I grow this?

[00:02:58] Like what should I do? [00:03:00] Should I create an agency? Like what do I do? And. The thing that never occurred to me at that time was to ask myself, right? And yes, there is a point where I didn't have the information, right? And that's what you might be thinking. Well, I don't know the options. And it's not just so, it was both that I didn't know the options and I didn't know what the right way was.

[00:03:25] I thought somebody else knew the right way. And if somebody said, well, what do you want to do? It wouldn't even have been something that had crossed my mind because I would have no idea. 'cause I had always just outsourced my decision making. Right. I took a course to. Create my PA business. I took another course for OBMI did coaching in between, right?

[00:03:46] I did a bunch of things, so I always followed other people's advice and. Nobody, it's very rare for somebody to teach you how to make a decision on your own. So what had happened, what had happened [00:04:00] was I had created a VA agency, right? I was getting all these clients. I created an agency. But why did I do that?

[00:04:06] I did that because I had Googled what do I do to grow, and that was the only answer I found. I never stopped to ask myself. Does this align with my values? Does this support my dream life vision? Does this feel like my unique magic? Is this what I want to be doing with my days? I didn't do it. I was so busy copying what worked for somebody else that I completely ignored what would work for me.

[00:04:30] And this I see everywhere, right? People are paying and this, and it's not just service providers. I as an OBM, I've had clients going into programs where people pay thousands of dollars for the copy paste strategies that worked for that person, but. It doesn't work for most of the people in the program.

[00:04:47] So the people doing these programs don't have bad intentions, right? Because like they think like, oh, this worked for me. So of course it'll work for my students, but a lot of times it doesn't because when you have a [00:05:00] copy paste program, you are ignoring. The students' strengths, values, their unique magic, their zone of genius, and their life vision.

[00:05:09] And that's what makes a business successful and sustainable. So again, they don't have bad intentions, but they are limited in what they teach. They give you their strategy and say, this is what works, period. The thing is, is that everything works. People are afraid to say that, right? It's not just their strategy.

[00:05:31] Everything works, but not everything will work for you. And here's the part that is, that spun. So your brain loves certainty, right? Your brain loves safety, it loves certainty. So when somebody with authority says, do this, do it my way, you'll get results. I guarantee it. Your nervous system relaxes. 'cause you're like, okay.

[00:05:52] They know better. Let me listen to them. But what you're doing now is again, you're building this dependency on external validation [00:06:00] instead of developing your own decision making muscle. The more you do this, the harder it becomes to hear your own voice and the harder it becomes to trust yourself

[00:06:11] One example of this, which was at the time of this recording, is just very, um, I dunno, kismet, I guess it was because it happened yesterday. So the perfect, perfect example happened in my Foundations to Flow group. This is a. Six week group that I love to create your core offer. If you wanna know more, let me know.

[00:06:29] So one of my clients in there, she is somebody who's getting an OBM training, and she's with me to really figure out what her offer is, but she's still in this training program. So she asked like, you know, what should I do in terms of selling high ticket that, well, how should I sell my offers? Right? So when she asked the other coach, the other coach said, just focus on selling high ticket.

[00:06:52] Period. Like that's what works. People are successful doing that. Now, this is actually in contrast to what I teach. In [00:07:00] my method, I teach to have a smaller, what I call a trust building offer. That's lower ticket that leads into a higher ticket offer. And so she knows, right? Like this is my method. The other person is saying this.

[00:07:14] So she's like, well, what do I do? Right? Like, because I can't do both. And so did I tell her No, my way is the way to do things? No, because both methods, both methods literally work. Both methods have merit. The difference is what feels better for you? What, when you hear the two ways of selling things, what?

[00:07:40] In your body, what does your body gravitate towards? Or is it something else? What aligns with your values? What aligns with how you want to show up in your business? Not just what do you think will be the most successful? 'cause again, everything works. The most successful thing is going to be the thing that you are excited about, the thing that you will be [00:08:00] consistent with for at least 90 days to test it out, to see if it works.

[00:08:04] And the thing that. No, that was it. Just those two things. So that you're excited about that. You're like, okay, like I'm so excited to go in and sell this way. And so that's gonna be the thing that works for you. And do you know which way she picked? It wasn't my way, it was the high ticket approach. And you know what I said, great.

[00:08:24] Do that. Because it's not about my ego, right? My purpose in this conversation was to help her make a decision, was to help her make a decision that was right for her. It wasn't to tell her to do it my way. 'cause my way is the better way. Now, of course, if the decision is like completely based on, you know, like I'll tell you the plus and minuses in opinions, you know, and things like that if you ask, you know, and whatnot.

[00:08:48] But the best kind of coach is the one that's going to help you. Make decisions on your own and trust yourself. So because [00:09:00] she made that choice from a place of self-trust, from her intuition, and not from just copying a guru or people pleasing because she explored her options, she felt into it, and then she was able to decide what was right for her unique situation, and this is a huge, huge win.

[00:09:19] And this is what I mean when I talk about trusting your intuition, about trusting yourself while building that muscle. Because it's not about having all of the answers. It's about hearing the options, figuring out what the options are, and developing the capacity to know what is right for you. So in my clinical psychology training.

[00:09:38] I know that self-trust is a skill that can 100% be rebuilt. I actually did an intuition course about a year ago, and that helped me to deepen my intuition and I use some of the things I learned in there with my clients as well. So here are a couple of questions that [00:10:00] you can use to rebuild yourself trust.

[00:10:04] So instead of, what should I do? Maybe just change it to what do I want instead of what's the right way? You can ask, what's the way that aligns with my values? Instead of, well, what this worked for them or what worked for them? Ask, what would work for my dream life and my unique magic. So the goal is never to just get advice because the.

[00:10:31] Other side of that is then you're dependent on working with that person forever, and you don't want that either, right? You want to learn how to disseminate information and figure out what is right for you. The goal is to receive advice from a place of inner knowing, not inner panic, and when you have the inner knowing, you are now able to really trust.

[00:10:56] So it's really fun. Be like, okay, yes. You kind of like get quiet, feel [00:11:00] into it. Yes, I want that. I'm going to go that way. And the difference is amazing because you, I can see it, right? I can see the difference between somebody who makes a decision based on, okay, I'm just gonna follow what you do. And I'm not quite sure and, and now I feel a little unsure versus.

[00:11:19] Let me listen to it. Okay, let me listen to myself. 'cause the answer is always within you, and they make a decision from that place. The outcomes are so, so much different. So when somebody gives you a strategy, instead of just blindly trusting them and immediately implementing it, pause, get quiet. Start trying to feel into it.

[00:11:39] Close your eyes. Take some breaths. Think about it. Feel into your body. Ask yourself some key questions. Does this align with who I am and who I'm becoming? Does this support the life I actually want to create? Does this align with my values? Does this sound fun to me? Remember that everything [00:12:00] works. And the truth is, is that you know more than you think you do, you just need to relearn how to access that knowing.

[00:12:09] So if you are here and thinking about Andrea, I really don't know what to do. I'm going to lovingly challenge you on that. You do know. Like I said, you might not know all of the different options, and that's fine, but once you see those things, you do know what to do. You've just been trained out of trusting yourself.

[00:12:28] So every time you scroll on social media looking for the right strategy in quotes, every time you ask a Facebook group what you should do, every time you hire a coach hoping they'll just give you the answers, you're reinforcing that you cannot trust yourself, but you can, and you have to start. Somewhere.

[00:12:45] So ask the questions. Hire the coach, but hire somebody who will help you develop this muscle. So if you are ready to stop outsourcing your decisions and start rebuilding that trust in your own knowing, in [00:13:00] your own intuition, that is a key piece of what I do in expansion with my clients. Just like you saw in this quick example that I shared earlier.

[00:13:09] We don't just create your signature offer, but we do that too. Your core offer and your trust building offer, we also rebuild your connection to your own intuition, so you are not relying on me forever, so that you can make decisions from a place of alignment, not anxiety. So if that resonates. Click some links below.

[00:13:26] Find me and DM me expansion and let's chat about it. How to make that decision making muscle. 'cause once you learn to trust yourself with business decisions, business gets to be so much more fun. It is so fun. I was supposed to stop there, but I'm excited about it. It is so fun to make decisions when you trust yourself.

[00:13:46] And so remember. And saying all about that, you don't need another strategy. You need to learn how to trust yourself with the strategies that you already have. So I will see you guys on the next one. 

[00:13:59] [00:14:00] Thank you so much for joining us today. I really hope you found inspiration and insights from today's episode. You know, scaling your business intentionally and from the inside out is a transformational process, but I'm here to support you every step of the way. Head on over to dancing leaf solutions.com/resources for free tools to help you do just that.

[00:14:25] And thank you again for being a part of the Solepreneur Scaling Stories community. Your presence and dedication to growth inspiring me every day.