106. "What If I Pick Wrong?" How to Know If Your Specialization Is Right for You

You've created this amazing specialization, you're excited about it, and then it's time to launch. Suddenly your brain starts screaming: "Wait, what if this isn't right? What if nobody wants this? What if I picked wrong?" If you've ever felt paralyzed by doubt right before putting yourself out there, you need to hear this.

Here's what's actually happening: your nervous system is taking normal launch nerves and turning them into evidence that you're not ready. But there's a difference between "this is scary and new" versus "this genuinely doesn't align with me." In this episode, I'm breaking down exactly how to tell the difference between nerves and misalignment, why your experience already counts (even without the fancy title), and how to move forward without being paralyzed by the fear of picking wrong.

Key Points Covered:

✨ Three questions to ask yourself to distinguish between protective fear and actual misalignment

✨ Why discounting your experience because you haven't used a specific title yet is keeping you stuck

✨ The truth about specialization: it's not a tattoo, and pivoting is strategy, not failure

📦 Grab my free Premium Offer Starter Kit: Ready to figure out what to specialize in and how to package it? This kit walks you through choosing your specialization and creating an offer that actually excites you.

💫 Ready to stop overthinking and start moving forward? Grab my free Premium Offer Kit at dancingleafsolutions.com/resources

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Transcript

FINAL 106. Solo - Specialization - Nerves vs Misalignment

[00:00:00] Andrea Elibero: Andrea here, your host and passionate business coach and scaling strategist for soulful service providers and coaches. Welcome to another episode of Solepreneur Scaling Stories. Have you ever wanted to look behind the curtain of your fellow entrepreneur's business to see what actually went into scaling it?

[00:00:22] Andrea Elibero: Well, you are in for a treat 'cause that's exactly what we are doing here. In each episode, we will be uncovering the truth of the lessons and the stories behind what it truly takes for sold entrepreneurs to scale their businesses intentionally. I'm hoping that their stories will help you to unlock the true potential of your business so you can create your own soulful, abundant, and aligned laptop lifestyle through intentional scaling.

[00:00:46] Andrea Elibero: So whether you're just starting out on your scaling journey or you're a seasoned entrepreneur seeking inspiration, this episode has something incredible in store for you. Are you ready to rise, grow, and create a business that fully supports your dream life? Well, let's dive in. [00:01:00] Before we begin, make sure to hit that subscribe buttons.

[00:01:03] Andrea Elibero: You never miss an empowering episode filled with real stories and soulful insights.

[00:01:11] Andrea Elibero: Hello and welcome back. This is Andrea and if you are new around here, I work with virtual assistants OBMs, my done for you friends who are ready to stop being this generalist, catchall and actually specialize in something that pays well and feels really exciting for them. And today we are talking about how to know if what the specialization is, what you're choosing.

[00:01:36] Andrea Elibero: Is really for you, and if you start to doubt it, is this nerves or is this some sort of actual misalignment? And I see this a lot, right? It just happened to me recently with a client. It's like, okay, we've gone through, we created this amazing thing, all excited, and then it comes time to launch it. And then you feel like, you know, you feel like what is going on?

[00:01:56] Andrea Elibero: Um, your brain tells you, no, this isn't the right [00:02:00] thing. Nobody's gonna want this. What happens if I pick it wrong? If this is not what I'm supposed to be doing and all of this stuff. And that's okay. We, 'cause we're going to talk about how to know if it's actually right or not. So do not worry. If that is happening to you right now, I want you to just pause, take a deep breath, and I would invite you to really embody what I'm about to say to you right now.

[00:02:24] Andrea Elibero: You are not alone in this feeling. You are not behind in anything. This is an actual part of the process. I know. Don't worry. We'll get into it. And this is exactly what I work on with my clients inside expansion, which is my one-on-one coaching, and I help service providers like you step into their expertise without being paralyzed by this launching of a new offer.

[00:02:49] Andrea Elibero: And so today we are going to dive deep into the difference between, okay, this genuinely is not right for me, versus this is scary and new, and my brain is [00:03:00] trying to protect me from being seen and the change of it all because yes, there is a difference, and knowing it is going to help you move forward.

[00:03:10] Andrea Elibero: It's going to help you to not just stop because you think that, oh, this isn't right. You know, like, we're gonna move through that. Okay. So let's start with the first pattern that I see with my clients. They'll often say things like. Well, you know, like for instance, I've had a number of clients who were transitioning from VA to OBM, and they are creating this core offer, and they said, well, I haven't had a real OBM retainer client yet.

[00:03:38] Andrea Elibero: Like, how do I know that I can do this? Or they'll say, oh, I've been working on this and this thing is a little bit rocky. You know, I've just had this experience. Now I don't know if this has meant for me. Or they'll say things like. Well, what if nobody actually wants this? Right? And so, and I can go on and on, but if any of that sounds familiar, if [00:04:00] you are thinking like, yeah, I've questioned things like that myself, that's normal.

[00:04:05] Andrea Elibero: This is your nervous system trying to keep you safe, right? So what happens is that. Whenever there's something that is unfamiliar, your nervous system does not like that at all. Your nervous system loves familiarity. So even if you're not happy where, where you are right now, you start to convince yourself that, oh yeah, this is where I'm meant to be.

[00:04:29] Andrea Elibero: This is what I should be doing because this feels safe. Sometimes there is misalignment, so. We'll get into that, but what your nervous system is doing is taking these normal launch nerves and, and turning them into evidence and creating evidence that you're not ready. This fear is protective, but there's a difference between fear and fact, right?

[00:04:52] Andrea Elibero: So fact is actionable, whereas fear is protective. So fear will say things like, oh, are you [00:05:00] sure that you should be doing this? Maybe you're not good enough. And all of those doubts that come in, but Fox says, okay, here are the things that are happening. A, B, C, here are the things that you do know. We can see this as evidence, it would hold up in a court of law, and here is what can be done.

[00:05:18] Andrea Elibero: So there are three questions that you can ask yourself. In order to tell the difference between fear and fact. Question one is, is this frustration happening because it's new and unfamiliar or because it genuinely doesn't align with me? If you didn't have to go out and sell it, if Mackay could magically appear and you would just work with them doing this, would it be exciting for you?

[00:05:41] Andrea Elibero: Would you want to do this? And number two, question two is. Is this challenge something that I can solve with a tweak, learning or support? Or is this true misalignment, is the thing I was thinking of doing, really feeling like, wait, is that really what I [00:06:00] want to do, or is that something that I think I should be doing?

[00:06:02] Andrea Elibero: Things like that, right. Or is it like, okay. I'm feeling this, but you know what? Maybe with some support, maybe if I learn this platform a little bit better, then I'll feel more comfortable going into it. And question number three. Am I confusing a learning curve with a lack of skill? Anytime there's something new, there's going to be a learning curve, right?

[00:06:22] Andrea Elibero: That's just natural. And can you look up some videos on YouTube? Can you go through some tutorials and figure it out? Or you really like, no, this is like something that I'm just not naturally good at. So for example, maybe let's say you, there's a platform set up. Maybe your system's girly and you want to set up Asana for a new client, but you're hitting some roadblocks, right?

[00:06:46] Andrea Elibero: You're like, wait, there's some things in there that they want to do that feel a little bit confusing to me, and this is taking way longer than expected. Is this a frustrating experience? Of course. Is this a red flag that you should never do [00:07:00] this again? A lot of times, no. Right, because a lot of times it's just that you're learning something new and obviously new things are uncomfortable and that's a normal part of the process.

[00:07:10] Andrea Elibero: If you're doing it and you're like, okay, like think back, like really sit and think with it. Be like, you know what? Before I started this, I thought, Ooh, this was kind of fun. Now I'm. Hitting some snags, but what if I knew how to deal with those snags? But I think this was fun. And when you get to the end of the project, do you feel accomplished?

[00:07:28] Andrea Elibero: Are you like, Ooh, that was kind of cool actually. Right? So things like that. So really, really just sit with it. And go deeper with it. And you can do a thought experiment right When you are hit with that, oh, I'm not good enough moment. Take a step back, take a breath and say, you know what? If this were easy, would I enjoy it?

[00:07:48] Andrea Elibero: If I knew exactly what to do, would I enjoy doing this? If the answer is yes, great, that's growth. If the answer is no, ah, that might be a misalignment. That might be a clue that the work [00:08:00] itself is not for you. So that's part one. So now the next is to understand your experience. So I said earlier, you know that, oh, when people have doubts, a lot of times when they're kind of upleveling into something new and they think, well, I don't know how to do this, and this is what I invite you to understand.

[00:08:23] Andrea Elibero: Your experience counts. It doesn't matter what your title is. It doesn't matter what you say you are. You have experience in so many different ways that encompasses this, right? And I see it so often that a lot of my clients, you know, at the beginning of us working together, they discount their own experience because it wasn't done under this new label.

[00:08:48] Andrea Elibero: But let me remind you that. If you've done things like managed client communications, calendars, inboxes, if you've created repeatable workflows, SOPs, if you solve [00:09:00] problems for clients on the fly, if you've planned systems and implemented processes, if you've done anything even remotely like this in any capacity even before this online role, then you already have the skills that you need to specialize. The title

[00:09:17] Andrea Elibero: does not make you more or less legitimate. That is semantics. And a lot of times that is also this doubt creeping up, right? Thinking like, oh, I need to be certified in something. I need to be accredited. I need to be this, that in order to be taken seriously. That's, that's your imposter syndrome. Taking over your semantics of your title, things like that, does not equal readiness.

[00:09:44] Andrea Elibero: And so I have a little quick exercise for you. If this is something that you're dealing with, make a list of every project workflow or system that you've set up in the past year, whatever it is that you're like, oh, I'm kind of interested in this. Think about like, oh, wait. [00:10:00] Here are all my experiences that relate to this, not the title.

[00:10:04] Andrea Elibero: Of what you're doing. Not the label, but the actual work. And then when you see it on paper, you start to recognize like, oh shit. You know, like, I actually do know how to handle this. Like, oh, I actually do know things, right? Like, I'm not just pretending. I know. And so, and this way you are already one step into the role that you want to get into.

[00:10:24] Andrea Elibero: And so now let's talk about another classic thing that happens all of the time. It is that. This one hard thing you take as proof that you are not good enough. And so this is kind of follows along with this example of, oh, I'm setting up this Asana. I'm running into some snags. That means I don't know what I'm doing and I can't specialize in anything involving this.

[00:10:48] Andrea Elibero: Right? Here's the thing is that your brain loves evidence and so. You hit a tricky client project or a platform setup that's more complicated, [00:11:00] or any part of your offer that you know you didn't love, and then you immediately think like, oh, that means I'm not cut out for this. That means it's not for me.

[00:11:08] Andrea Elibero: But the truth is, is that there is a learning curve, and the question is not is it easy right now. That's not the question. So it's not about, oh, is it easy right now? The question is, do I want to figure this out? Am I curious about this? Or does this genuinely make me miserable? And there is a huge difference between, oh, this is challenging, but satisfying versus, no, I hate every second of this and I never want to do it again.

[00:11:35] Andrea Elibero: Right. So when you feel frustration, think about the source of that frustration. Is it the work itself or is it the newness of the situation? Are you reacting emotionally to difficulty or is this genuine misalignment? And these things can be tricky to spot because they can feel similar, especially in that moment of frustration.

[00:11:58] Andrea Elibero: And so you can [00:12:00] come back to it, you know, after you've calmed down, after you've kind of taken a step away. Maybe go for a walk and, and think about it and see what comes up. And then next is this myth that I would lift to bust is that a lot of nervousness comes about when we talk about specialization because it feels like this huge choice, right?

[00:12:23] Andrea Elibero: It feels like, oh my God, if I do this, this is going to be forever. Now this is not a tattoo, and even those can be removed, right? You are not locked into this forever. We are just focusing right now, and don't think about it like permanence. So specialization is simply for right now, for this time period, this is what I'm putting out there.

[00:12:47] Andrea Elibero: This is what I'm marketing and this is what I'm known for. This absolutely does not mean that you cannot evolve, adjust, or pivot in the future. In fact, most successful. [00:13:00] Service providers do exactly that. They start with one focus, they master it, and then they deepen it or shift it, or, you know, kind of go off into this tangent when they discover other things based on what their experience is and what they've learned.

[00:13:12] Andrea Elibero: You've probably already done that in your business so far. You know, there are things that you love to do, you've been learning along the way, and I bet you have done some evolution in your business that's going to continue to happen, and that's a healthy thing. So when your brain tells you. Like, oh, what if I realized in six months this isn't right?

[00:13:32] Andrea Elibero: Guess what? You are allowed to shift. You're allowed to pivot. To pivot. That's not a word you are allowed to pivot. That is strategy. That's not you failing at something or picking the wrong thing or totally ruining your life. And the funny part about this is that. Not choosing anything at all because of this fear means you are exactly where you are right now.

[00:13:56] Andrea Elibero: You stay a generalist, you stay overwhelmed, you stay under charging. [00:14:00] And it's, it's, I know you've heard this before, but it's all about taking that imperfect action so when you move forward, you build up this momentum and you keep moving forward. When you overthink things, you know, when you just stay where you are, then you really pause and it's like you're just in the sludge.

[00:14:19] Andrea Elibero: You know, so take the risk, dive into the thing. And also I do want to challenge, one other belief is that a lot of my clients think that, or at the beginning they think that, well, if I do this and then I switch to something else, people are going to think I'm flaky or they're not going to want to work with me.

[00:14:39] Andrea Elibero: Two things about that. One is that you are only the main character in your own story. People do not care that much. And that's liberating, right? So you get to do what you want. And two is that when you talk about the why behind it, when you take people on the journey, when you're excited about it, people want to go on that journey with you and they're genuinely happy for you, and they're [00:15:00] excited and they're like, oh, amazing.

[00:15:02] Andrea Elibero: And I don't know a very many people. In my five, six years of doing this so far, who looked down upon somebody for pivoting, for shifting, for specializing, for going after their dreams and saying, oh no. I love doing this thing. Never, never. So don't be afraid that clients are going to be confused. The confused ones are not your ideal clients anyways.

[00:15:26] Andrea Elibero: Don't be afraid that they're going to judge you because they're not. Take them on the ride. You have a story to tell, right? You have a reason that you're doing this and you just take them with you and it's exciting. And so with that, let's do a little exercise. 'cause you know, I like to do a little exercises in these.

[00:15:43] Andrea Elibero: Uh, so sit down. Clear out a little time, a little space, and write down every doubt or frustration you have about the thing you're thinking about specializing in every single one. Brain. Dump it all. And for each one, [00:16:00] go back and really ask yourself and sit with this. Feel it in your body. You know, think about, think, is this actual misalignment?

[00:16:07] Andrea Elibero: Should I not be doing this? Or is it just fear? So is this misalignment or fear? The second question, there's three. Am I frustrated because this is new or because I genuinely dislike it? And three, if this were easier, if I just knew how to do it. 'cause I will at some point, would I actually enjoy this? And a bonus pick one small concrete action this week, maybe a.

[00:16:35] Andrea Elibero: Little, you know, I keep focusing on the systems. I'm just using that as an example. So we'll just stick with it. So maybe a little mini system. Set up a chat with a peer, anything, and take one action. Tell somebody that this is what you're doing. Do a market research call. Whatever it is. The point is not perfection, it's movement, because you're not going to get clear until you actually start doing something.

[00:16:59] Andrea Elibero: You need to take [00:17:00] action to know for sure. So the more you are sitting here stewing in this. You're going to just stew further and further and further and not get out of this hole. So we want to take action and then you're going to know, once you do things, you will know. So if you are in that, I don't know if I am ready space.

[00:17:18] Andrea Elibero: I have a few ways to go deeper. One is that I have the. In the show notes, I have the premium offer kit. It'll be under resources. It's free, and it helps you figure out what to specialize in and how to package it. Two is that I invite you to book a free clarity call with me also in the show notes, and we can talk through your doubts.

[00:17:37] Andrea Elibero: What, what? Fear is talking where facts live. And if you are curious about working through these exact challenges in a structured way, so you are excited and you launch the thing, that is what I do every day with my clients inside of expansion. And so remember that your experience is real. Your skills are solid and you are ready to step into this next level of [00:18:00] your business.

[00:18:01] Andrea Elibero: So do the exercise, pick a small action, move forward because clarity comes from action and not overthinking. So with that, I will see you guys in the next episode. 

[00:18:12] Andrea Elibero: Thank you so much for joining us today. I really hope you found inspiration and insights from today's episode. You know, scaling your business intentionally and from the inside out is a transformational process, but I'm here to support you every step of the way. Head on over to dancing leaf solutions.com/resources for free tools to help you do just that.

[00:18:38] Andrea Elibero: And thank you again for being a part of the Solepreneur Scaling Stories community. Your presence and dedication to growth inspiring me every day.