107. Why You Keep Attracting Clients for Work You've Outgrown (And How to Stop)

You just signed another client, but instead of feeling excited, your stomach drops. Because you know exactly what happened, they want you for work you've been trying to move away from for the past year. You say yes anyway (because bills), then spend the next three months resenting every time their name pops up in your inbox. Sound familiar?

This isn't a marketing problem or a messaging issue. It's an identity split, and it's the thing keeping you at the same income level month after month. You're saying one thing but selling another, and your business follows what you're selling, not what you're talking about. In this episode, I'm breaking down why you keep attracting clients for work you've outgrown, what this identity misalignment is actually costing you (financially and emotionally), and the exact steps to finally commit to the version of yourself you're trying to become.

Key Points Covered:

✨ Why your nervous system keeps you straddling two identities, and why the old one always wins

✨ The audit questions to spot where your split identity is most obvious (Instagram vs website, bio vs offers)

✨ What happens when you finally commit to one identity and align your whole business around it

💫 Ready to stop the split? Grab my free Peaceful Profits Vault at dancingleafsolutions.com/resources

📩 DM me on Instagram @soulfulbizcoachandrea to book a free clarity call, I can spot your identity split in about 2 minutes

Thank you for being a part of the Soulpreneur Scaling Stories community!

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🎧 Podcast produced and edited with love by @FerAssists 🩵

Transcript

[00:00:00] Andrea Elibero: Andrea here, your host and passionate business coach and scaling strategist for soulful service providers and coaches. Welcome to another episode of Solepreneur Scaling Stories. Have you ever wanted to look behind the curtain of your fellow entrepreneur's business to see what actually went into scaling it?

[00:00:22] Andrea Elibero: Well, you are in for a treat 'cause that's exactly what we are doing here. In each episode, we will be uncovering the truth of the lessons and the stories behind what it truly takes for sold entrepreneurs to scale their businesses intentionally. I'm hoping that their stories will help you to unlock the true potential of your business so you can create your own soulful, abundant, and aligned laptop lifestyle through intentional scaling.

[00:00:46] Andrea Elibero: So whether you're just starting out on your scaling journey or you're a seasoned entrepreneur seeking inspiration, this episode has something incredible in store for you. Are you ready to rise, grow, and create a business that fully supports your dream life? Well, let's dive in. [00:01:00] Before we begin, make sure to hit that subscribe buttons.

[00:01:03] Andrea Elibero: You never miss an empowering episode filled with real stories and soulful insights.

[00:01:10] Andrea Elibero: Back to Soulpreneur scaling stories. Today I want to talk about why you keep attracting clients for work that you have outgrown. So let's get into it. Okay, so you have just signed another client, but instead of feeling excited, your stomach drops. Yeah, because you know exactly what just happened, right?

[00:01:33] Andrea Elibero: You got this inquiry, but it's for work that you've already outgrown. This client wants a version of you that you have been trying to move away from for the past year. And you know that you are going to say yes anyways, because let's be honest, you need the money, right? Because somebody wants to hire you because betting on this new thing that you're thinking about feels really [00:02:00] risky when you have bills to pay.

[00:02:02] Andrea Elibero: So you say yes. You deliver, you do the work, and then you spend the next three months resenting this client and the work you're doing every time their name pops up in your inbox if you just felt that in your body. Hi, this episode is for you, and if you don't know, I am Andrea, and today we are talking about this thing that so many VAs OBMs online service providers feel, but they can't quite name.

[00:02:32] Andrea Elibero: It's an identity split, and this is a thing that is keeping a lot of you at the same income level month after month, and I'm going to help you finally see it and know what to do about it. All right, so this is what I see, right? A lot of the time. You know, that you don't wanna keep doing, you know, as an example, general admin work anymore.

[00:02:53] Andrea Elibero: Or maybe you don't wanna be doing your like, general OBM reti retainer work where you're doing like all the things for [00:03:00] somebody. Or Maybe you know, you want to evolve from podcast editing into strategy. Or from being the person who does all the things to somebody with an actual specialty.

[00:03:13] Andrea Elibero: You might not have it all figured out yet, but you know that the current work you are doing served you well in the past, but it's starting to feel like it's not aligned anymore. So. Maybe you even start talking about this new thing that you're doing. Maybe you update your Instagram bio a bit. You create some content about it.

[00:03:31] Andrea Elibero: Maybe you even build an offer, but the inquiries that you're getting, they keep coming in for the old work that you don't want to be doing any more. So I'm going to tell you about somebody that I worked with and this person had been sitting around like three to 4,000 a month for about a year and a half, and she was doing general admin and was so done with it.

[00:03:55] Andrea Elibero: It wasn't challenging her anymore, and she kept gravitating towards podcast [00:04:00] projects. She really loved the strategy part, the storytelling, the creative direction. It really lit her up. It lit a fire inside of her. But she didn't know how to claim it as her thing, as her specialty, and on top of that, she definitely didn't think that she was qualified enough to do it.

[00:04:19] Andrea Elibero: So her website still said, I can do all the admin things. And her Instagram bio was a little bit confusing. She had all these different services, and wherever a client looked, it wasn't entirely clear what she did. So guess what kind of work Kept landing in her dms, in her inbox. The general admin stuff, right, the inbox management, the calendar scheduling, the client care things, all the stuff that she really wanted to move away from.

[00:04:49] Andrea Elibero: Now, here's the thing, right, is that there's nothing wrong with her business and her marketing per se. It was that her identity alignment was the thing that was not [00:05:00] actually working. Her identity was not in alignment. Her business was still set up for the version of her that she had outgrown or that she is outgrowing.

[00:05:10] Andrea Elibero: But that's the version that people kept hiring. And so another person, a podcast manager, had been hovering around 4,000 a month for about two years. And this person wanted to move into podcast strategy, like real strategy, not just the editing. And she even created this beautiful strategy intensive package.

[00:05:29] Andrea Elibero: But her Instagram, her bio said podcast strategist, right? But her website was. Said that she did full on like full service editing and production, and the strategy wasn't anywhere there. So somebody gets excited, right? A potential client gets excited about this strategy and then clicks on the link in her bio, looks up for more information on her website and is like, oh, she doesn't actually do that.

[00:05:53] Andrea Elibero: Right? It's very confusing for them. And so they don't hire her, not because she wasn't qualified to do the [00:06:00] strategy, because her infrastructure was still built for the old identity, and it's really confusing for these potential clients. So here is the thing. You think that you know the problem is that you haven't figured out the right messaging or the right marketing strategy, or that you need to post even more.

[00:06:16] Andrea Elibero: Or maybe you need to do a rebrand or get new headshot. That is not it. What is happening is that you're saying one thing and selling another, and your business follows what you're selling, not what you're talking about. I will clarify that. So if your Instagram, if your posts are talking about your work, that maybe is a 5K retainer offer, but your website is still selling your $1,500 like hourly work, you're going to get paid for the $1,500 hour hourly work every single time.

[00:06:52] Andrea Elibero: Right? Like if whatever the lowest thing that's like publicly out there, that's. What is out in the universe, and that's the thing that's going to be [00:07:00] the thing that's attracting that type of client that wants that lower thing. So it's not necessarily about marketing per se. Again, it's about this identity alignment.

[00:07:09] Andrea Elibero: And the thing that makes this so tricky is that you're not purposefully doing this right. You are not necessarily not like updating all of the things or not stepping fully into this thing. You want to be on purpose. What happens is internally, your nervous system is the one who's purposefully doing this because your nervous assisted job is to keep you safe.

[00:07:30] Andrea Elibero: And that's its full-time job. That's all it wants to do. So safety to your nervous system is familiarity. So every time you want to change something, even when you're excited about it, your nervous system sees that shift and registers it as a threat and it's like, mm-hmm we're not gonna do that. And that can manifest as this, um, fight, flight, or freeze response.

[00:07:52] Andrea Elibero: And the freeze is okay, maybe you don't take that next step, right? Because the old identity. That, like in this example, that [00:08:00] general admin work, this is familiar. This is proven. You know how to deliver. You have testimonials. It feels safe even if you don't want to do it anymore. Like you can do this in your sleep, right?

[00:08:11] Andrea Elibero: So in this case, your nervous system is straddling between these two worlds, the old you and then this evolved version of you that you're trying to step into, but you're being held back. So you keep that, oh, I can help with anything language on your website or your LinkedIn or wherever you, you know, your, uh, internet presence is because you think like, oh, what if this new thing, what if the specialty doesn't work?

[00:08:38] Andrea Elibero: What if this thing I want to evolve into is not the thing you list all eight services on your bio. Because what if somebody wants one of these, right? And when somebody asks you what you do, you default to, I'm just a va, I do admin stuff, even though that doesn't really fit you anymore. You take on work that drains you because hey, at least it's money coming in.

[00:08:59] Andrea Elibero: This [00:09:00] is not because you're uncommitted. Again, it's your brain. It's your nervous system that's literally designed to keep you alive, not fulfilled. So what is this costing you? This lack of fulfillment financially, right? You're leaving all this money on the table, right between one and $3,000 a month. Like in this example, every single month.

[00:09:20] Andrea Elibero: And because you're filling your calendar with old identity work at lower rates, it this means that you don't have room for the new identity work. Like you physically can't do it, right? It would pay you two to three times more, but you don't even have time if somebody wanted that, and that's the financial part.

[00:09:37] Andrea Elibero: Emotionally there is this low level constant anxiety, right? Like who's showing up today? Which version am I gonna be in this conversation? All this like. I want to. I want to, but I can't, but I don't know. All this internal fighting, it's really exhausting. And then because of that, then resentment starts to develop.

[00:09:58] Andrea Elibero: Every time a client asks [00:10:00] you to do this work that you've outgrown, you feel it, right? You feel this resentment building. Then you feel guilty for being, feeling resentful because the client didn't do anything wrong, right? They're literally asking you to do the things you told 'em that you could do, right?

[00:10:13] Andrea Elibero: And then on top of that, practically, maybe you're starting to put out content in one direction, but there are other places online, your presence is pointing in another. So somebody who's excited about this new you, they don't actually know how to hire you for it. They're starting to get confused because they don't know if you actually offer it yet, if you're actually capable of it.

[00:10:35] Andrea Elibero: Right. And then with all of this altogether, you are at the same income level. And it's not because you're not working hard enough, right? You're here because you have these two identities running at the same time, and the old one is always, always going to win because it is safer. So let's do a little exercise like, okay, like what can I do about this, right?

[00:10:57] Andrea Elibero: And if you happen to be driving or indisposed right now, [00:11:00] like, just listen and come back later. But if not, I invite you to, to pull up your phone right now, look at your Instagram bio itself. Look at your website homepage. Look at your LinkedIn, like wherever you are online, what services. Do you have listed?

[00:11:16] Andrea Elibero: What does, what does your online presence look like? And I have some questions to do a little audit for yourself and be really honest, right? So look at your Instagram bio. So, okay, what identity is my Instagram bio selling? Is it the one I'm trying to move away from, or the one I'm trying to move towards?

[00:11:35] Andrea Elibero: So the first question, which identity is my Instagram bio selling? The one I'm moving away from or the one I'm moving towards? And obviously if you don't use Instagram, if that's not your primary thing, your primary thing. And what about your website? Which identity is my website selling? If somebody landed on my website today, would they know where I'm headed or where They only see where I have been?

[00:11:57] Andrea Elibero: So this is the next platform, right? And so again, if you [00:12:00] don't use these, you can substitute in other platforms. My, which identity is my website selling? If somebody landed there today, would they know where I'm headed or would they only see where I have been? Number three, if somebody wanted to hire me for the work I actually want to be doing, would they even know how can they see a clear path to work with me for that thing?

[00:12:25] Andrea Elibero: So if they landed on your Instagram, would they be able to do that if they landed on your website, if they landed on your threads, on your LinkedIn, on whatever platform you use, can they hire you for this thing that you want to be known for? When I introduce myself and a DM at networking wherever, what identity do I lead with?

[00:12:44] Andrea Elibero: Am I like, oh, I'm a va? Who wants to be an OBM? Right? Like, oh, I'm heading in that direction, or do I introduce myself as the OBM? Whatever thing as a podcast strategist, right? So when I introduce myself, what identity do I lead with? [00:13:00] And here's the big one. When money feels tight, which version of work do I immediately start looking for?

[00:13:07] Andrea Elibero: The last one, when money feels tight, which version of work do I immediately start looking for? Okay, those are all the questions. They're a little bit deep, so take a breath and if I can guess, you're probably seeing some mystic signals not missed mixed signals everywhere right now. And you know what, that's good news because once you see it, you can start to shift it.

[00:13:32] Andrea Elibero: And with that, I lied before we have one more question. The deeper question, what are you avoiding by keeping the split identity? What is it that you are are avoiding by not fully stepping into this next level version of yourself? Is it the fear that you're not qualified for the new identity? Is it the fear that no one will actually hire you for it?

[00:13:55] Andrea Elibero: Is it the fear of losing the steady income that this old work brings? [00:14:00] Whatever it is, again, thank your nervous system. It's doing its job, it's trying to protect you, and it's also what is keeping you capped. So with that, let me tell you what I. See happen when somebody finally commits to one identity and aligns their whole business around it first, your messaging is so much clearer.

[00:14:24] Andrea Elibero: You're not hedging, right? You're not trying to speak to everyone. You are talking directly to the people you actually want to work with, and it's so much fun. Second, the right clients start to find you, not because your marketing suddenly got amazing, but because they're not confused anymore. They see you, they get what you do.

[00:14:43] Andrea Elibero: They know exactly how to hire you, and those simple things make it so much easier for them to actually do so. And third, you can actually start testing this new positioning how you're talking about yourself, right? So like right now, you're not giving it a real shot, right? 'cause half your business is still [00:15:00] marketing the old version of you.

[00:15:01] Andrea Elibero: So obviously the new version is not gonna land anywhere. So give it a real, real go. Right. And then this one surprises everyone. So your income will stabilize and grow because now you're finally letting people hire you for the highest value work instead of just taking whatever inquiry comes in. And so here's what I invite you to do this week.

[00:15:24] Andrea Elibero: Three questions, question one. What am I actually avoiding by keeping the split? So get specific. Is it fear of failing at the new thing? Fear of being exposed is not qualified, or fear of losing your current income. What is it? Write it down. Because you can't shift things that you can't name. So if you know what it is, then you can start to shift it.

[00:15:44] Andrea Elibero: Question two, where is the split most obvious right now? Is it your website versus your Instagram? Is it your bio versus your offers? Is it your content versus what you're selling? Pick one place where the disconnect is most glaring. [00:16:00] And question three, what's one aligned thing that I can do this week?

[00:16:03] Andrea Elibero: Maybe this week we just update the Instagram bio to only talk about your evolving identity. Maybe it's hiding those old offers from your website. Maybe it's changing how you introduce yourself. Just pick one thing. One clear signal that you are committed to where you are going, not where you have been, because this is not going to resolve itself through more clarity.

[00:16:25] Andrea Elibero: It's going to resolve through commitment. And commitment doesn't mean blowing everything up overnight, right? It means making one aligned choice and then another, and then another. So if you are listening to this and you just had that moment of, oh, this is me. I invite you to send me a dm, an email, whatever, connect with me, all the places are listed in the show notes.

[00:16:45] Andrea Elibero: Tell me where you noticed the split in your own business. I can spot it in like two minutes. It's kind of my thing, right? And I'll show you exactly where that alignment wants to happen. And if you're thinking, okay, I see the split, but I [00:17:00] don't have ideas on how to rebuild my whole business around this new identity without gambling on my current income.

[00:17:06] Andrea Elibero: This is the work that I do with my clients in expansion. An expansion is my four month coaching program. It's one-on-one where we're not just updating your bio and hoping for the best. We are aligning your whole business infrastructure around who you are becoming, and you're going to step into that comfortably with support.

[00:17:26] Andrea Elibero: We create the offers if you don't have them yet. We build the positioning how you talk about yourself. We work through the nervous system stuff that comes up, all of the things, because you cannot just change your Instagram bio and expect it to stick three days later, your nervous system is going to panic and going to ask you to add the old identity back, right?

[00:17:43] Andrea Elibero: So we need structure, you need support. You need somebody who gets both the business side and the mindset side. And if that sounds like what you're looking for, there's also a link in my show notes to grab time on my calendar for a free clarity call. And so listen, you're not stuck here, right? This is [00:18:00] not hopeless.

[00:18:00] Andrea Elibero: There's just a misalignment. And once your business actually reflects who you're growing into. The plateau, this income plateau is going to dissolve, and that is what I have for you this week, and I hope that has landed because I really, really, really love this topic. And so connect with me. Let me know what you thought, and then I will see you guys on the next episode. 

[00:18:24] Andrea Elibero: Thank you so much for joining us today. I really hope you found inspiration and insights from today's episode. You know, scaling your business intentionally and from the inside out is a transformational process, but I'm here to support you every step of the way. Head on over to dancing leaf solutions.com/resources for free tools to help you do just that.

[00:18:50] Andrea Elibero: And thank you again for being a part of the Solepreneur Scaling Stories community. Your presence and dedication to growth inspiring me every [00:19:00] day.